The first book in a series of Sports Playbooks... "There's Lipstick on My..."

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Menopause with Ellenor Kirkconnell

Ellennor Kirkconnell

Join Deb Durst (co-author of There's Lipstick on My Pigskin!) when she welcomes Ellenor Kirkconnell (national motivational speaker) back to the show to teach our listeners how to offer up menopause and the symptoms of menopause. Durst and Kirkconnell will add a comical twist to menopause: "If it bleeds, it feeds" and why every woman over the age of 40 should have a garage stocked with ShamWows!

As part of my Catholic upbringing, I was often told by the nuns to Offer It Up. For those who are not familiar with this term; it means to offer your suffering to God as a sacrifice. This can be done with small annoyances or large issues.

So, I got to thinking...What if we could turn Hormonal Hannah into a positive experience? What if we applied the offer it up theory to menopause? It just might work. Therefore, I decided to "offer up" my insomnia to compile a list of humorous offerings for the friends of our show who suffer from menopause, and for those who will venture down this path soon enough.

Mark your calendars! Join us on Thursday, 2/27/14 at 11:00AM EST to listen, learn and laugh!  Click here to listen.  If you'd like to call in to speak to the host or guest, please dial in at: (646) 716-8735


  The Offer It Up List

1) Offer up your night sweats and be thankful for the well stocked garage full of ShamWows.

2) Offer up hot flashes with the knowledge that there's a young mother trying to control a two year old, in the midst of a temper tantrum.

3) Offer up irregular periods and appreciate the person who invented duct tape. It's the quick fix for those unexpected leaky pipes. Measure. Cut. Afix. GO!

4) Offer up vaginal dryness. Boost the economy, buy WD-40 !

5) Offer up fatigue and welcome the opportunity to use "Act of God" on your insurance claim--falling asleep while cooking is beyond your control.

6) Offer up your weight gain. It's time to accept those extra 20 pounds. It's time to stop blaming that ONE cookie for your size 8 ass not fitting into your size 2 jeans.

7) Offer up heavy bleeding and thank your third grade science teacher, "If it bleeds, it feeds." This justifies at least three trips to the "all you can eat" buffet line.

8) Offer up mood swings and thank a lawyer. You'll deny your actions, and he'll swear to it.

9) Offer up hair loss as a way of going "green". Less chemicals will be used to dye your hair.

10) Offer up incontinence--you know when to deliver the punch line to a joke--within 5 steps of a bathroom.

11) Offer up memory loss since 50 is the new 40, or maybe it is the new 30?!?

12) Offer up dizziness and alert your doctor that you finally took his advice and started a new exercise regimen--a midlife spin class.

13) Offer up loss of libido, but welcome the chance to become a platinum card member of the Romance Novel Club.

14) Offer up insomnia--you now have documented proof that "a WATCHED pot does boil."

15) Offer up headaches with a sigh of relief. Those Saturday night "white lie" headaches are REAL!

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Clearwater or Bust!

The Phillies' equipment truck is loaded and rolling down the highway...

Six days till pitchers and catchers report to 
Spring Training.*

File:Baseball diamond marines.jpg

Go Phillies! 

"It's fun; baseball's fun."  --Yogi Berra

*Count day is based on February 13, 2014 opening date as announced by MLB.

picture in public domain via Wikimedia Commons