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Saturday, October 19, 2013

Can Gidget Go Cougar?

 From the archives...

I have this crazy idea of becoming the Middle Aged Gidget.  Don't laugh...I'm serious! 

So, I do I achieve this goal? 

1) Do I take surfing lesson and pray the great white shark confuses my wrinkly skin as pink slime, and not suitable for consumption?

2) Do I hang at the beach and ask for a guest appearance on Jersey Shore as the Joisey house mom?  I'm sure I could pull off the look and accent, or at least get a few of my friends to endorse my audition. Well, they've already flooded Rosetta Stone with e-mails requesting that I be hired as the voice-over actor for Rosetta Joisey. Danks! Youse guys are da best!

3) Do I contact Aqua Net and ask for sponsorship?  I'm willing to be their spokesperson and endorse the new campaign slogan: Cougar Hair In A Can.

4) Do I allow my body to be video taped wearing a bikini?  Imagine the notoriety I'd get from uploading a Youtube video on how to care for your finest leather.

5) Do I approach Doublemint Gum and ask them to create a product that acts as a denture glue and the excess glue becomes chewing gum?  They could call it: Pack & Smack.

6) Do I...  oops, gotta run. Sorry for the quick exit, but the lifeguards are pulling everyone out of the water for a cougar sighting!  They could be pointing at ME


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